Nets Are Scorching

This weekend Devin and I channeled our inner dork and traveled up to Boston to attend the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference (more on that in the coming days). As fate would have it, the Nets played in Boston last night and we jumped on the opportunity to attend the game.

With another highly capable opponent in the Celtics, we were hoping the Nets would build on our impressive victory over the Mavericks. Sadly, that reality was crushed midway through the second quarter when the Celtics, who were only leading the Nets 34-30 at the time, peeled off a 14-0 run and never looked back from there.

The game changing factor? The Celtics began extending their defense full-court, employing a 2-2-1 press which confused, frustrated and ultimately caused the Nets offense to look like, well, the Nets offense. The Nets were making mistakes handling the pressure that you don’t often see from NBA teams, such as: dribbling into corners, attempting long cross-court passes, bobbling or mishandling passes, etc. Even when the Nets did successfully cross half-court, they were put into short shot-clock situations, which forced the Nets into lower percentage shots.

Things didn’t start out this way, however. After the first quarter, Deron Williams had 10 points and three assists and seemed to be on his way to having a night which could help carry the Nets to another surprising win. Sensing this, Doc Rivers wisely changed his defense and strapped on the aforementioned press, squeezing the life out of the Nets, one excruciating possession at a time.

Deron admitted as much after the game, saying: “It was a good move by them because the press is definitely what hurt us. The trapping took the ball out of my hands.”

The taking the ball out of his hands is a key point, because after Williams’ 10 point first quarter, he was held to just one more field goal the rest of the game. And we all know a DWillless offense is not a recipe for Nets wins.

There was more to the loss than just simply the Celtics pressing, but that one decision certainly turned the momentum in their favor, momentum in which they never gave back.

The guys over at TrueHoop’s CelticsHub take a closer look at some of the Celtics highlights from last night, which, spotlight quite well how the Nets struggled. If your stomach can handle a second viewing of some of last night’s plays, go and take a look.

Chris Trotman – Getty Images

Ever since the beginning of Prokhorov-King-Johnson era, the Nets front office has sold a supposed “rivalry” between the Nets and the Knicks. The billboard wars, Prokhorov one-upping Dolan’s private jet, “turning Knicks fans into Nets fans,” Melodrama… It’s fair to say that this “rivalry” has had more off-the-court incidents than on-the-court ones. It’s been more of a battle between owners and cities than it has been about basketball.

Last night, in Madison Square Garden, we witnessed one of the first, hopefully of many, rivalry games between the New Jersey Nets and the New York Knicks. A chance at revenge for Deron Williams, a chance for further embarrassment for Jeremy Lin, a chance at belonging in the Knicks’ lineup for Carmelo Anthony, and what the hell, a chance at a new beginning for Baron Davis. The lowly Nets, coming off a back-to-back and an obliteration from the Bucks, against the much-hyped Knicks, smack-dab in the middle of Linsanity. It was clear who the favorite was from opening tip-off.

And the Nets followed that up with a stinker of a first quarter, one that had me wondering what was more shocking: that the Nets had actually scored what they had scored (18 points) or that they were still in the game. But from then on, the Nets completely dominated their biggest rivals in front of a hostile Madison Square Garden.

To take off the writer-analyst hat for just a moment, it was games like last nights that are the reason I fell in love with basketball when I was nine years old. And honestly, I felt like my nine-year-old self watching the game, sitting on the edge of my seat, shaking knees on the floor, standing, pacing around my room throwing my pillows against the walls, literally jumping and screaming at Deron Williams (much like I used to jump and scream at Jason Kidd not too long ago), nearly tearing my hair out by the root, followed by moments of sheer joy. And I’m not exaggerating. I wanted to beat the Knicks so bad, and for that, this win felt like more than just a regular-season basketball game, with the winning team still far out of reach from a successful season. It was a total turning point for the New Jersey Nets.

It wasn’t just the fact that the Nets won a game — it was the environment in which they won. I listened to Bill Simmons’ BS Report a few weeks back where he interviewed a hero of mine: Flea, the bassist from the Red Hot Chili Peppers and a well-known Lakers fanatic. Flea and Simmons talked about the fun of hating other teams and the passion it creates in sports fans. They are right; my hatred of teams like the Knicks (and the Patriots, sorry, gotta add it) stir up just as much adrenaline in me as my love of the Nets. Sometimes, my hatred of other teams drives me to love my team even more because few sports moments are greater than demolishing your rivals and hanging them out to dry.

For the first time in years, the Nets-Knicks rivalry felt real, and not a contrived marketing ploy by the two franchises’ owners. It felt boiling. You could hear the anger of the Knicks fans in the building and see the tension between the players. When Kris Humphries “shhh-ed” his boos out, he represented every Nets fan who hated the Knicks just as much as Madison Square Garden hated the Nets.

During the second quarter, I started keeping notes on the scoreline when Deron Williams sat on the bench, but I got way too caught up in the action to continue with it. One thing that totally blew me away on those D-Will-less minutes was how the Nets heavily, and rightfully, criticized bench hung in there with the Knicks starting rotation. They may have had moments of caving where it looked like the game could’ve spiralled completely out of control, but they held the lead and got the W. That is not something you see out of this Nets team two weeks ago. This team got caught up in the moment, caught up in the crowd, and most noticeably, caught up in the hatred of the Knicks fans to lose this game. And they didn’t. Even without their ringleader.

(For the record, with 3:30 left in the fourth quarter, I had a full set of fingernails. Now I have stubs.)

I’m not saying the Nets are going to start a winning streak, or turn this win into a magical, playoff clinching run. It probably won’t happen. But I will say, for one of the few times all season, the Nets played through vitriol, and emerged victorious.

It was about time.

(Thanks to Garfield Minus Garfield)

The Pistons’ first scoring play of the game looked all too familiar. Greg Monroe dumped the ball off to Rodney Stuckey for a quick pick-and-roll on the left side. Shelden Williams cut off Stuckey’s penetration and attempted a trap up top.

But Detroit was ready, and Tayshaun Prince (who’d been hiding on the opposite block) recognized that Williams abandoned Monroe in an attempt to trap, and flashed to the high post to set a back-screen for Monroe’s cut as Monroe handed off the ball.

Three seconds later, Monroe was wide open under the basket for a layup.

Later in the first quarter, Monroe set a high screen for Brandon Knight. Jordan Williams did the same as his power forward counterpart Shelden Williams, and cut off Knight’s lane to the basket. Only, he crept far too far away, and ended up essentially single-covering Knight 38 feet from the basket.

With Williams so far away, Williams’s small forward counterpart Shawne Williams was forced to rotate down off his assignment (Jonas Jerebko) on the nearly-open-for-another-layup Monroe. Jordan, realizing that Monroe was his assignment, rushed to rotate back down to guard Monroe.

Two seconds later, Jerebko registered an open dunk.

In the middle of the fourth quarter, after the Nets erased an eighteen-point deficit and the lead stood at just 78-77, Monroe received a pass at the high left block. Knight cut down the left side to set a screen for Ben Gordon. Gordon, in a hot shooting night, forced both Kris Humphries and Deron Williams to abandon their defensive assignments (Jerebko and Knight, respectively) in the hopes of cutting off Gordon’s path to midrange glory.

A split second later, Jerebko dunked on Deron Williams.

About a minute later, Ben Gordon held the ball at the top of the key. Jerebko faked a screen, and Humphries fell for it — oddly, well after Jerebko darted to the basket. That forced Shelden Williams to quickly rotate to the basket, leaving Anthony Morrow to contest Monroe at the rim. You can guess how that turned out.

I won’t subject you to images and video (unless you really want it). For the sake of knowledge, that’s just eight in a slew of easy, highly preventable points. The Nets lost by seven.

The Nets played ten players last night, the same as their opponents. Three Nets scored in double figures, six Pistons did. Two Nets shot more than 50%, five Pistons did (minimum two shots). One Net had more than three assists, four Pistons did. One Net had more than six rebounds, two Pistons did.

Mathematically, the Nets weren’t far off. If their starting wings merely go 3-10 from beyond the arc, they claim victory, and tonight’s lament never exists. Morrow’s excusable, if just for one night — for every 8-11 anomaly there’s one in the other direction. But I’m not entirely sure what happened to Shawne Williams.

The potential for statistical anomaly is still in play, but unfortunately in the wrong direction; I’m now beginning to wonder if his 44% shooting from the corner last season was the outlier, and not this year’s masterpiece of misery. Two games, twelve three-pointers, zero makes. 24% from three-point range in 2011-12. That sustained failure doesn’t come often to three-point shooters, and the problem I’d assumed — his vacation time away from his spot of success — hasn’t been the issue.

More is ripe for critique here, only what do you make of an incomplete, decimated roster? Kris Humphries asks that we shy away from the narrative of injury, but attempt to calculate the difference between Shelden Williams and Brook Lopez and the theoretical tape measure snaps. Williams is masterful at restricted success, and I’ve commended him greatly for accepting his own specialized, underappreciated underperformance. But it’s still underperformance. MarShon Brooks’s rapid-fire start may not be sustainable. Or maybe it is. Or maybe he’s actually better than he’s played. Who knows? His toe won’t let us learn. Mehmet Okur should’ve been the ideal backup, until rushed minutes as a starter forced him into yet another back “procedure.” Keith Bogans has a defensive appetite fit for a Thibodeau, and his reward is a foot fit for a walking boot. Twelve players make an active roster, yet thirteen players have started a game for New Jersey this season. Adaption and reconfiguration is Nets nature.

Positives exist. Deron Williams played his butt off, scored at will in the second half, and hits double-digit assists with a full supporting cast with hands and spacial awareness. Jordan Farmar hit his shots. Kris Humphries reentered the realm of boardsnatching and single-handedly kept the rebound margin close. Jordan Williams was a +13 in 11 minutes without scoring, the highest of the game for either team.

These are pieces of a collective whole, a whole absent tonight, and this game goes down as no more than a loss that should’ve been victory regardless of roster. It happens. By Friday, it won’t be forgotten, but it’ll be old news. In case you’ve forgotten, these Nets improbably defeated Detroit last week, fielding barely half their roster. They’ll get another chance tomorrow. OTTNO.

7:55 PM:Five minutes or so to game time: I’m sitting in front of my TV at Casa Kharpertian, waiting for NBA League Pass to come on. I’m not sure how many of you have League Pass, but the music they have during “commercials” is horrible. It’s the most bland, generic power-chord-guitar music I’ve ever heard. But I’ll find a way to live. How else am I going to enjoy Bulls-Nets?

Speaking of which, the Bulls are starting their normal 5 tonight against the Nets despite the fact that they’ve locked up the #1 seed. Tom Thibodeau is either a genius or they’re going to wear out in the playoffs. The answer, of course, is the former: Thibs is brilliant, and has maximized that roster. I give the Nets almost no chance tonight.

7:59 PM: Before the game, from gsloots: “Not sure where this offseason leads, but can’t help to feel a little upset that I can’t root for a Favors/Kyrie Irving lead in Brooklyn.”

Same here, but Deron Williams is worth that cost. Besides, Kyrie is almost guaranteed to go #1, and the Nets aren’t exactly guaranteed the #1 pick (remember John Wall?).

8:04 PM: If the Bulls win tonight, they guarantee at least a coin flip for home-court in the Finals. The Spurs would have to lose to guarantee it, if the Spurs win, it’ll coin-flip. I guess this game means more to the Bulls than I thought.

(Also, once the game starts I’m going to countdown from the game time.)

8:10 PM:Glad to see that the Bulls still have that same intro music. I always thought it was the coolest thing growing up.

Also, njnets416 on Twitter asked who the Nets might re-sign this coming free agency other than Humphries. They’ll probably pick up the option on Ben Uzoh, but I doubt any of the free agents will be back. Brandan Wright’s option won’t be picked up. Maybe Sasha at the right price, but the Nets probably shouldn’t offer him that price. Truthfully, we’ll probably see a whole new team again next year.

First Quarter, 11:01: Dan Gadzuric just won an awkward tip that was about a foot in Noah’s direction. Gadzuric didn’t jump, Noah jumped and completely missed it, and Gadzuric reached over and tipped it backwards. The Nets immediately turn it over and Chicago scores. Basically what I expected.

7:11: First time-out, Nets down 9-8. There’s no doubt why Chicago’s defense is so phenomenal. Noah’s timing is impeccable, both on his feet and with his hands. That’s a quality you want in your center – you want a guy who’s able to stay on his feet against good counter-moves, who can step out to contest, and put his hands up at the correct times. Plus, he always busts his butt down low. Brook doesn’t have that defensively, but his offense is so good that you need him out there.

The Nets look completely scattered, but that’s their identity right now – a team literally without direction. The other General (Deron) isn’t there to lead the troops, and most of the soldiers are playing their last game in a New Jersey uniform. Given the sloppiness so far, it’s amazing that they’re only down one – but when it’s early and Stephen Graham has hit a three, anything is possible.

5:26: Gadzuric just took a jumper and Chicago’s crew just busted out laughing.

2:08: Stephen Graham is on weird-fire right now. He’s knocked down three jumpers, and I mean knocked down. Not-touching-the-rim swishes. Meanwhile, Noah & Boozer are running the crap out of Brook Lopez & Johan Petro. It’s almost like they’re showing off.

Travis Outlaw airballs his 493,295^th jumper of the season. I realized something earlier this year: Outlaw can be a useful basketball player if you don’t have to rely on him for anything. I was talking to my dad about that, and he busted out laughing, because it sounds like a joke. But I’m serious. If Outlaw is your ninth man, and you don’t really expect anything from him, and he never has to handle the ball, or post up, or do anything but play defense, and you hope he hits his open jumpers but don’t really need it… He can be effective.

This isn’t that team. This isn’t the team for him. Outlaw deserves to be somewhere that he can blend into the background as a second-string 3/4. That’s his NBA destiny, and it’s not happening in New Jersey.

End of the First: Nets down 26-20 after 1. Brook Lopez has missed five of his six shots. But let’s recap the last 3 possessions:
1) Ben Uzoh dribbled around for 21 seconds, dumped it off to Petro, and Petro swished an 18-footer.
2) Ben Uzoh dribbled around for 15 seconds, threw it inside to Petro, who got called for a three-second violation.
3) Ben Uzoh dribbled around for 12 seconds, gave it to Petro, who dribbled around for a few more, then threw up a terrible inside shot and was bailed out by a questionable foul call.
Sometimes I hate basketball.

Second quarter, 10:25: Bulls widening this lead. 33-20 now. Getting ugly fast. Not that that’s unexpected. Outlaw airball count: 2.

6:23: Nets first make of the quarter comes almost four minutes in, on an iso by Farmar that he just pulled up into a jumper. They just don’t care about running any offense right now. It’s either the “stand-there” or the “pick-and-roll-and-run-around.” The only shots they’ve made have been off weird offensive sets that either broke or never furthered the goal of putting the ball in the basket. On that last one, Sasha barreled into two defenders, threw a risky interior pass that Wright barely caught, and Wright turned around and hit a terrible shot. It was a good make, because of the toughness of the shot, but bad offense means bad players are taking tough shots late in the shot clock.

2:33: Jordan Farmar just absolutely clowned Derrick Rose off a crossover and then buried a three as Rose tried to recover. I’m literally in shock. Farmar looks like a legit NBA guard right now. I know it’s just a three-minute stretch, he’s just been knocking down shots and playing the pesky 1-guard on defense. Don’t you worry, though: he’s still not throwing credible entry post passes.

Halftime: 50-43, Bulls are up. The Nets have stayed in this game so far by getting to the line, hitting threes, and hitting lucky shots. Plain and simple. They’re not creating good offense, they’re making shots they don’t normally make. That’s not a great recipe for long-term success, but the Nets are only down 7 for now.

Meanwhile, with about a minute left, the future MVP roared in anger after missing a shot and free throws. I mean roared. No one on the Nets ever gets that angry. No one cares that much.

Reader Hanif writes in about the future of the Nets: “‘I’m excited about the prospect of seeing a run-and-gun Nets offense next season. I have a good feeling D-Will will re-sign in 2012 for Brooklyn’s campaign and I strongly believe the Nets should develop Brook Lopez, bulk him up and work on rebounding and defense.”

However, he also adds: “If I were G.M., Travis Outlaw would be the first to go.” I’d love to agree with you, Hanif, but there aren’t a lot of trade scenarios that other teams would agree to that would move Outlaw, unless he was packaged with Lopez. It’s not that easy. (However, we will have some trade ideas up soon. Am I a hypocrite? Maybe.)

Third quarter, 9:38: This is the enigma of Jordan Farmar. After flashing from irrelevant to fantastic, he’s now dropped back down to lethargic. He looks like a guy at 4:30 on a Friday who can’t wait for his work day to end so he can enjoy the weekend. Except the weekend is probably going to be 18 months because your union is going on strike.

Somehow, though, the Nets have cut the lead to 1 – capped by a ridiculous Dan Gadzuric and-1 that looked absolutely awful and somehow dropped through perfectly.

8:41: Derrick Rose’s first “oh man, this guy is MVP” moments. After struggling early, he hits a gorgeous layup while bouncing off defenders, then fires a perfect pass in to Deng for a slam. I get the MVP hype, I guarantee you. He’s not number one on my ballot, but it’s not like the case is absurd. (I have him third.)

7:17: Let the record show this is how I feel about this evening so far.

5:55: It hasn’t stopped. The Nets are still making ridiculous shots off inherently broken plays. The Farmar jumper puts them up one. Brook Lopez then makes a great and-one (note: that wasn’t a broken play). I feel like there’s magic in the air.

4:39: There is a timeout break. The break was called by Chicago. It was called because New Jersey is up eight. I’m also not sure what universe I’m in.

Vivek writes: “Don’t look now, but Jordan Farmar has kind of outplayed Rose thus far. How long do you give this? 30 seconds? 60 seconds?”

Actually, it’s been like this all game. Rose is probably just saving himself for the playoffs. Still, he doesn’t look good, and Farmar is back to looking good again. I’m just at a loss for words, because logically, this doesn’t make sense. The Nets are a bad team taking poor-quality shots, handling a good team taking decent shots.

Basketball is clearly not played in a linear, logical world.

End of the 3rd: This is making sense again. Stephen Graham is throwing up wild shots and getting called for charges, Travis Outlaw is kicking it out to Brandan Wright for shock 18-footers, and Derrick Rose is taking over offensively. A surprising lead has turned into a tie game after 3. Unless Thibodeau rests everyone in the fourth, I doubt the Nets pull it off.

Fourth quarter, 8:52: Travis Outlaw hit a stepback jumper and a 3 on successive possessions. On a related note, I just started twitching uncontrollably.

8:09: Derrick Rose has been pressing tonight. I’m not entirely sure why, but he just seems like he wants to win a little too much – more than usual, and he’s forcing Nets-like shots and missing free throws as a result. Meanwhile, Travis Outlaw just proved that we’re in Bizarro World by burying another off-balance jumper, putting the Nets up 6. Where was this guy for 81 games?

6:49: Jordan Farmar and Derrick Rose switched bodies on a dare for this game. That’s the only logical explanation. Farmar has 17 with 11 assists, Rose has only one assist and isn’t shooting well. Meanwhile, Graham is showing a surprising amount of emotion in this game: getting (unfairly) called for a technical, then twice drawing offensive fouls – once on a flop. He then was yelling and pumping his fist as the Nets got the ball back. Didn’t see that coming.

2:25: We’re watching a supporting cast right now. I mean a literal one, or I guess a literary one. The Nets are background characters in the story of the Chicago Bulls right now. The Bulls, the Bulls reserves fighting to the last second to secure a seemingly meaningless victory is what this game is about. The fans, who shouldn’t really care, are booing like it’s the NBA Finals. The team cares about winning, every single second. The Bulls are breathing meaning into this game, and the Nets are just standing idly by, a casualty of the nature of basketball’s narrative. I normally hate those ideas – they’re often rooted in odd subjectivity – but I can’t help to imagine that’s what we’re watching.

1:33: In crunch time, the Nets run a two-man game with Petro & Farmar. Of course.

1:30: And it works. Of course.

:22.8: Nets get lucky on a tip between Gibson and Petro; Gibson beats Petro so soundly that he actually tips it out of bounds, giving it back to Jersey. The Nets run two offensive plays through Lopez – one a nice spin move on Kurt Thomas, the other a nice move that led to his shot being pounded to the glass. Still, that’s where you’ve got to go. Chicago makes a free throw to make the lead 93-90. Anything is possible.

:00:00: Nets run a curl play for Farmar, he gets a decent look but it doesn’t fall. Gibson out-hustles Outlaw for the rebound, knocks down two free throws. The game goes back-and-forth for a bit, but the end is predictable. This game is about the Bulls, and the Nets are just the necessary background music. This game was a final statement from Chicago heading into the postseason: we will not take plays off.

The Bulls will keep playing on. The Nets’ curtain is closed. A season defined by its constant change has finally become static. The win-loss percentage is unremarkable, the team unsurprising. But the ride was wild, strange, and confusing at too many times. I hope next season comes sooner than expected.

Fin.

Box Score – Knickerblogger.Net – Posting and Toasting – The Knicks Blog

The twilight of an NBA season is never fun, especially when you root for a team who’s twilight is coming in the middle of April. All around you are signs of hope and optimism. There are 16 teams readying themselves for the NBA Playoffs — a system where theoretically “anything can happen” (but we all know the Heat, Celtics, Bulls and Lakers will be closer to the finish line than the rest). If basketball isn’t your sport, in the world of baseball, fans are still being treated to “Opening Days” where hope springs eternal (or so I’m told as a Mets fan). But when you’re rooting for a team with less than 30 wins and the bulk of their roster on the sideline in suits? You’re just looking at your watch like it’s 4:50 on a Friday at work. The games can’t pass by fast enough.

I mean, if I can’t get amped up for Knicks-Nets game after everything these two organizations put each other through this season, what game can get me excited? Here’s the problem though — these aren’t like the games of yesteryear where John Starks was literally trying to kill Kenny Anderson, or when Jason Kidd and Richard Jefferson were performing Globetrotter-esque alley-oops on top of Tim Thomas’ little Fugazi head. It wasn’t even Deron Williams versus the Amare/Melo two-headed scoring-no-defense-monster. In last night’s 116-93 Knicks victory in Newark, the Nets started three guys who are certain to not be with the team next season (including two in Mario West and Dan Gadzuric who may not even be in the NBA) and if the owner gets his way, the other two, Brook Lopez and Jordan Farmar, will probably be packaged together in some kind of mega-deal for Dwight Howard or a superstar of that ilk. Look to the bench and it’s Stephen Graham (gone), Brandan Wright (gone), Ben Uzoh (D-League demotion) and Johan Petro and Travis Outlaw (both gone if someone is dumb enough to take their contracts). So trying to provide thoughtful, sincere analysis about a group of 10 players who in all likelihood don’t even figure into the team’s plans in six months? What can I possibly say?

I can pick on this team’s overwhelming unwillingness to ride Brook Lopez when they have nobody else. Lopez is the only Nets player suiting up these days who’s a legitimate starter on a playoff team. With Amare Stoudemire out for the Knicks, I predicted that Brook would cross the 30-point threshold easy. As it stands, he was stuck on 27, in large part because he sat most of the fourth quarter in blowout. But the shot distribution is still questionable. In the 3rd quarter when the Nets still had a puncher’s chance of getting back into it,  Lopez made four of five field goals, including four of those attempts in a two minute timespan between the 6 minute and 4 minute mark. But getting ball to Brook that entire quarter was not a priority. Instead Jordan Farmar  was heaving jumpers (0-4 from beyond 15-feet) and not doing much better at the rim (1-3). These are the games that should remind you why a team that won back-to-back championships with Farmar on the bench was more than willing to let him walk this past summer and sign up with the worst team in the NBA. While people can talk about Farmar’s winning pedigree all the want, he’s a player who acts as if he believes he’s more talented than he really is. Farmar wasn’t hitting shots all night (3-12, 0-5 from three). Why is he taking so many shots when his team is down double digits? Don’t point out that 9 assists to me. This has been Farmar’s MO all-season: to shoot as much as he can while ringing up cheap assists. He’s not a playmaker, especially when his team can only gather 93 points against a team with nonexistent defense.

And let me echo those sentiments for Sasha Vujacic. After another high volume, so-so shooting affair (6-14), including a dreadful 0-5 start from the field, I think it’s worth pointing out that he’s been shooting 39 percent on more than 10 field goals a game since the all-star break. I know Terrence Williams was a head case and draft picks are a valuable commodity in this league, but I think the theory that Sasha was some kind of “asset” the Nets acquired in that deal should be put to rest. He needs to be farmed out with the rest of the bricklayers this off-season, and my guess is The Machine will only find himself as an every day NBA rotation guy next season if he swallows his pride and goes to a non-playoff contender where he HAS to shoot 10 jumpers a game.

What else do you want to hear about this game? How the Knicks owned the Nets on the boards 48-38 despite have the the 28th best rebound rate in the entire league? The fact that the Nets perimeter defense was nonexistent, allowing the Knicks to drill 15-36 three pointers (did Butler’s college team even make 15 FGs in the entire game Monday night?) The fact that Carmelo Anthony had as many offensive boards (2) as Brook Lopez had total rebounds? What else is there to say? There are two games left before the front office begins their next round of purging. I can only hope they get it right next year.

Box Score – Piston Powered – Detroit Bad Boys

So let’s get this straight.

The New Jersey Nets are a professional basketball team in the National Basketball Association. The Nets – this professional team – started Jordan Farmar, Sasha Vujacic, Mario West, Dan Gadzuric, and Brook Lopez. Stephen Graham was the first Net player off the bench. Travis Outlaw was the second. Johan Petro and Ben Uzoh shortly followed.

That’s the front 9 the Nets had last night. Those nine names. That is not a basketball team. this is a mockery of professional basketball.

Don’t tell me the Nets are ravaged by injuries. I get that. If you think that’s the problem, you’re missing the point. Other teams that get ravaged by injuries still have NBA-quality players on their benches. This is about the ridiculous band of nobodies that define the New Jersey Nets. Go ahead, name me a player on the Nets – other than Brook Lopez or Deron Williams – that could be a top-5 player on a solid playoff team. You can’t. For all of Anthony Morrow’s glory, he does nothing – nothing – but shoot. For all of Kris Humphries’ hustle, you can’t rely on him as a top player on your team. Jordan Farmar and Sasha Vujacic were bench players on the Lakers championship team, and wouldn’t be much higher up on another contender.

In Bill Simmons’ preseason podcast, he posited that the Nets finally had 7 NBA-quality guys on their roster, after the disaster that was last season. Now, 78 games later, I have to formally disagree.

I’ve been a Nets fan for a long time. I lived through last season. Most of us did. If you’re still around after that, you’re definitely a diehard. But last night, they trotted out a starting five that would’ve competed with that 12-70 team, probably the worst starting five that any NBA team has seen all year – hell, maybe the worst starting five of all time for a team not intentionally tanking.

Hilariously, the team on the other side seemed to actually be tanking. So don’t tell me it’s fine because the Nets almost won, either. The Nets could win the rest of their games and it just wouldn’t matter. The Pistons, on the other hand, have a draft pick to play for, and this victory over the Nets means a nearly insurmountable three-game “lead” over the Nets in the NBA standings. Every loss matters at this point of the season, thanks to those elusive ping-pong balls. When you have ping-pong balls to play for, anyway. Detroit’s probably more upset that they won than New Jersey is that they lost.

Don’t tell me this was an exciting, high-scoring affair, either. There was a lot of scoring, but it wasn’t because of smart basketball or professional execution. It was, frankly, luck. The Nets were the opposite of Butler on Monday night; while Butler created good shots and couldn’t knock them down, the Nets didn’t create good shots and still made enough to compete. The Pistons were UConn: slightly better at all facets of the game, but not nearly good enough to make this a laugher.

But when Charlie Villanueva dropped in a reverse layup at the rim, one that was completely uncontested, one that put the Pistons up 7 with 2 1/2 minutes left, it felt like a nail in the coffin. The Nets hung around, but that was endemic of the Nets’ problems the entire night: they just couldn’t stop a team desperately looking to be stopped.

I’ll give one player credit – Brook Lopez, since he absolutely balled up on offense this game. He wasn’t exactly facing a wall on defense, but he still absolutely dominated the inside, which any NBA player deserves credit for. The Nets rode him down the stretch early in the fourth, half because he was completely unstoppable, and half because no one else on the Nets can be relied upon for offense. It was definitely encouraging to see him calling for the ball on every possession.

However, all that changed when Chris Wilcox fouled out. Jason Maxiell entered for him. The Pistons switched to a zone on some possessions, completely confusing the Nets offense, and the Nets seemingly forgot how to pass him the ball. Oftentimes Ben Uzoh would just crash the lane, looking for anything, only to either take a bad shot or pass out to Vujacic, who would then… take a bad shot. When Maxiell manned Lopez up directly, the Pistons usually brought a double to shut him down.

Lopez took three shots in the final 9:49, missing all three.

He ended the game with a career-high 39 points, and played great for the most part – except for this, which kind of describes Brook Lopez’s rebounding in a nutshell:

To be clear: this was not a win to be proud of. This was a terrible basketball game, masked by decent efficiency numbers on both sides, written as a battle of victory but truly was a battle of who wanted to lose more.

But the story from last night has nothing to do with the game. The Nets could’ve won by 30 or lost by 50 and it wouldn’t have made a difference. The story is that again, for the second straight night, the Nets didn’t even bother putting the team on local television. Nobody in the New Jersey area even had the opportunity to torture their eyes by watching this tool of basketball destruction take on a slightly less depressing franchise in the Pistons.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on these things. Maybe in this crazy mixed-up world it makes sense that the Nets aren’t on local television anywhere, that Ian Eagle and Jim Spanarkel are at home spending time with their families instead of traveling to the Motor City. Or maybe they tried really, really hard to sell these two games to someone – anyone – but WGN decided that those Friends reruns were just too lucrative to pass up.

But after two straight nights of this, I feel like the Nets are just slapping me in the face. If they can’t even sell the rights to televise a game locally two nights in a row, if they trot out just one NBA-quality player in an entire 12-man rotation, how can they expect to sell the franchise to the fans? If they don’t even care enough to show the game on local television, why should people care to pay attention to them?

For all the “Experience It”‘s and “It’s All New”‘s and “Blueprint for Greatness”‘s that we’ve seen and heard about, it’s damn sure difficult to stomach it when they’re the ones helping cultivate indifference to the product.

I was able to see the game, thanks to the wonders of League Pass. I’ll describe to you the terrors that I saw. On at least three occasions, Sasha threw up a forward-leaning long two-point jumper for no reason. Collectively, the defense was atrocious. Nobody ran back in transition, nobody rotated, frankly, nobody did anything. Mario West proved again he has no business starting at the NBA level, even for the worst team in professional basketball. Petro missed a wide-open dunk under the basket. Gadzuric was absolutely faked out of his shoes more than once by Wilcox, one time leading to a particularly emphatic jam. I could describe the good – as I mentioned, Brook set Detroit on fire, Farmar & Outlaw made a bunch of shots they usually wouldn’t make, and, um… well, that’s pretty much it.

But nothing describes these Nets more definitively than your television screen, showing anything else on every single channel. Frankly, I can’t blame them. Why would they? What are you going to say to a potential buyer? Are they supposed to be excited by Travis Outlaw’s miscues? Stephen Graham’s goaltending call? Brook Lopez giving less than a you-know-what on the glass?

Maybe one day the Nets will play a late-season game that matters, maybe when they get that proper complement to Deron Williams. But like the Heat have shown us this year, you can’t expect to build a great team looking only at 1-3. When the Nets do get that next big piece – and yes, I do believe they will one day – they can’t lose sight of roster spots 3-12. Because if last night is any indication, the players they have there now just don’t matter.

Have you ever watched Jack Johnson box? If not, take a few minutes to watch the video above. The man graced the ring with such power, force, and dominance. He was virtually unbeatable. It’s not a shot in the dark to compare him to the Miami Heat of today’s NBA — so vicious yet so hated. Johnson faced wrath merely because of his race. LeBron James and the Heat are loathed because of The Decision.

In some ways, the Heat’s win over the Nets yesterday was emblematic of Johnson’s fights. While Johnson was markedly better than basically anyone he ever faced in the ring, he had a habit of toying with his opponents: taunting them, egging them on, making them feel like they had a chance to win. Well, the Heat embraced that school of thought on Sunday.

That the Heat would emerge victorious from this game was essentially an afterthought, and they proved that in the early going. James was a man among boys on the offensive end, beating Sasha Vujacic about six different ways for his first six field goals. In fact, he, Dwyane Wade, and Erick Dampier started the game 12-of-12 from the field. Meanwhile, the Nets couldn’t get even a trace of offense going. Alas, by the end of the first quarter, the Heat were up 34-18, and it was looking like an old-fashioned blowout. The Heat shot about 70 percent in the period (I’m rounding here) and the Nets fired about 30 percent.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you stand on the Nets re glass-half-full or glass-half-empty at this point in the season), the Heat weren’t content with just winning by a country mile. Maybe James, Wade, and Chris Bosh actually wanted to play in the second half, so they kept the margin out of hilarious territory. And the Nets started to “fight back.” In fact, they outscored the Heat 51-45 in the second and third quarters.

It helped that Wade missed a large chunk of the first half with a leg injury, and it didn’t hurt that Travis Outlaw (17 points, 9 rebounds, 3 steals, 6-of-12 shooting) took his blindfold off to play this game. That said, probably my favorite part of this game was watching Mario West play. And I really doubt that those words have ever been said before in that sequence.

No, he’s not going to give you any offense or rebounding. But, as John Hollinger put it on Twitter:

“Nice to see former Hawk Mario West getting some run w/ Nets. No skill at all, but nobody in lg. plays harder.”

And Hollinger even sells him a little short if this game was any barometer. West proved to be the only Net capable of inhibiting LeBron at all, hounding him on the ball and keeping him from exploding on offense. West is no long-term fixture of the team, but it’s nice to see someone display some interest in defense for a team that hasn’t shown up on that side of the ball since November.

Speaking of which, the Brandan Wright experiment encountered yet another road block Sunday. He got the start with Kris Humphries out, but that didn’t last long. Just three minutes into the game, Avery Johnson was so fumed as his lack of defensive effort that he pulled him for the remainder of the evening. I understand wanting players on the court who care about defense, but NO ONE on the Nets cared about defense in this game. Is it really fair to pick on Wright for maintaining the status quo, however terrible it is?

Oh, well. This was a bad game for the Nets at a point in the season when the games rarely matter at all. There’s nothing to get terribly upset at. Hey, at least those who watched the game got to see this doozy:

Box Score – Philadunkia – Liberty Ballers

You know it’s a bad day for the Nets when you look at the box score afterwards and say to yourself, “well, hey, at least Brandan Wright and Mario West showed us a little something tonight.”

After Tuesday’s drumming at the hands of the Houston Rockets, Devin waxed poetic about the old “mercy rule” for little league/pee wee sports. I say, let’s take the mercy rule a bit further and just forget these next seven games, give the Nets seven more losses and call it a season, because the way the Avery Johnson has his squad playing right now, there’s not going to be a better outcome than that. Why should anyone put the remaining few Nets fans through the torture of more performances like last night’s 115-90 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers?

In a lot of ways, the past two weeks have felt worse than last season. Maybe not worse than 0-18, but certainly as bad as Nets basketball in January and February 2010. The team has bottomed out so miserably after that five-game win streak, punctuated by the crazy young fan in the pink shirt against Boston, they don’t even resemble an NBA squad. While there’s a lot to be optimistic about going forward – a hopefully healthy Deron Williams, a new arena in Brooklyn, a wealthy billionaire owner – watching luminaries like Johan Petro, Travis Outlaw, Stephen Graham and co. is reminding me that for this team to be competitive again next season, for them to convince D-Will to stay beyond 2012, the Nets front office is going to have to blow this whole roster up AGAIN. It is just a total and utter indictment of the braintrust who put this roster together (interestingly enough, the guy who is now the GM of the Sixers – Rod Thorn – and a head coach in Avery who apparently ran him out of town) when a guy like Kris Humphries misses a game and the next best option in the starting five in a seven-footer who’s afraid of the painted area around the rim and whose interpretation of defense is to stand in one spot with his hands in the air, regardless of where the ball is. I don’t mean to come across as a whiny, negative nellie, but I’m just tired of what the Nets are trotting out there as a team these days.

Let’s start with the silver lining of this roster and present a rain cloud. After another poor shooting night, can we all just agree that Deron Williams (2-8, 4 points in 22 minutes) is better served sitting out the remainder of the season to rest his wrist? In addition to the fact that this team is playing for nothing, there’s also some validity to the argument that he’s not helping this team much. The devastation of his crossover is negated when he can’t step back and reliably drain a jumpshot. So while he can still find other members of the team with more efficiency than Jordan Farmar or Ben Uzoh, I don’t see how trotting out Williams for 20 minutes a night in games where the Nets are still losing by more than 20 points is really doing anything for anyone.

Second – enough with Avery’s pet projects. I don’t care how thin the roster is – Stephen Graham is not an NBA player. Period. He played 22 minutes last night which featured such electric plays as dribbling a ball off his knee while leading a fast break and missed open corner threes – because why would anybody from the opposing team be guarding Stephen Graham? He’s anemic on offense. He can’t play defense. I get that he’s a live body, but there’s got to be somebody in the D-League who can give the Nets what Graham has given them all season. The fact that he’s lasted on the roster this long is a joke and I sometimes feel like Avery is trotting them out there on games like this out of spite. The Sixers shot 56 percent last night and were close to 60 percent through the first three quarters. Graham wasn’t stopping anybody. Enough with this stupid experiment.

Ibid for Johan Petro. Apparently, Nets fans are supposed to be warm and fuzzy about Petro because he grabbed 8 board against the Knicks on Wednesday. No mention of the fact that I grabbed 5 boards against the Knicks on Wednesday from the comfort of my living room. Petro’s highlight last night involved taking off from the blocks and dropping the ball while attempting a tomahawk jam in the first quarter. Maybe the French can’t palm the ball? I’m not stupid enough to think Brandan Wright is the answer – he shoots way too much and I don’t think I’ve seen him make a proper rotation and provide help on defense since he’s become a Net – but do you know what? In a game like yesterday, Wright should be starting and playing until his legs fall off. And when you need to get Brook Lopez off the court (he of 11 pounds and 6 rebounds, which is mildly impressive considering its Brook Lopez), throw Dan Gadzuric out there more often, because while his offense leaves a lot to be desired, he can at least play a little help defense and he’ll hammer someone trying to take an easy lay-up. Johan Petro shoots 17-footers. That is all Johan Petro does. That and grab 8 rebounds against the Knicks.

Think I’m being over the top here? Good. Because that’s what happens when the team looks like a lifeless sack of slugs for the past two weeks worth of games. I find it dubious that the only competitive game the Nets have played of late came against the Knicks – on national television when the team’s owner has had bloodlust for that team since taking the reins last May. Did Brett Yormark give these guys a pep talk before Wednesday to let them know about all of the potential season ticket packages at stake if they flopped at MSG? Because every other game since the team went down flailing in Milwaukee two Fridays ago has been a flat-out disgrace. Even the team’s lone win against Cleveland was a joke – and hey, at least that organization got out of their slumber long enough in the past few days to notch a win against LeBron and the Heatles. If I’m Avery Johnson, I’m pulling the starting lineup out of a hat on Sunday, because it’s not like the players deserve to be treated any better. And it’s not like that randomization would do any worse than some of Avery’s intentional rotations of late.

Now where’s my paper bag?